Broke and Isolated: The reality of the summer holidays
When I consider what families supported by First Days truly need from us, I'm struck by the isolating reality of having no money. Daisy-May Cooper's candid memoir, "Don't laugh it'll only encourage her," vividly illustrates this. She describes how having no money meant she lost friendships due to the prohibitive cost of socialising:
“You sure you don't want an Americano?' No, I don't want an Americano. I want tap water, because tap water is free. And if you buy me an Americano, I won't be able to buy you one back. Because I have no money. I don't even carry a purse any more because the only thing in it is a Tesco Clubcard. We'll finish our drinks, and I'll be in the middle of telling you a funny anecdote, but inside I'll be screaming because I can see you're staring at your empty cup and I know you are waiting for my stupid story to end so I can buy you another coffee. And I'll feel ashamed, because all I want to do is buy you one, of course I do, but I can't, and you think it's because I'm not picking up your social cues.”
Cooper poignantly concludes, "That's why I stopped seeing my friends. Correction: that's why they stopped seeing me. You wouldn't think it, but having friends costs money."
This isolation is particularly acute for families during the summer holidays. In Wokingham, Berkshire, where over 4,500 children live below the poverty line, daily life becomes a financial obstacle course. With one in eight children growing up in households without adequate funds, and the remaining 7/8 being considered ‘well off’ the pressure to spend is omnipresent. Local parks, once havens of free enjoyment, are now commercialised, with ice cream vans charging £3.50 for a 99. This stark contrast between those who can afford to do something as simple as go to the park and those who cannot creates a profound sense of exclusion for families.
And don’t get me going on the sheer amount of energy it takes to explain to every single person who asks that ‘no, we are not going away on holiday this year’.
One Mum shared her heartbreaking strategy: extending a five-minute school run to twenty minutes to avoid shops and the reality of always having to disappoint her children when they ask to go in, like the other kids to get sweets or an ice cream. The prospect of declining invitations to bowling, crazy golf, or even a simple park visit and coffee is a constant source of stress, impacting both parents and children.
At First Days, we create opportunities for families to participate in everyday and special events, regardless of financial constraints. From providing tickets to sports matches and theatre shows to offering free refreshments at our weekly coffee club and tokens for the rides at the local fair, we aim to create a sense of belonging and community so that just because you can’t afford something as taken for granted as a latte, it doesn’t mean you’re excluded in our community.
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